Imagine this scenario: You are walking along the corridor at work and you accidentally drop your bag and everything spills out all over the floor. Some people laugh, some people ignore you, some people stop and help you. We’ve all been there one way or another. We spill coffee on our white shirt just before an interview, we fail our driving test because we forget to check our mirrors, we try to make a joke and nobody laughs. This is part of being human. We all get things wrong and we all experience situations that don’t feel great. So, what happens after you drop your bag? How do you show up for yourself? If you are like the majority of humans, you have probably been pretty unkind to yourself in those moment – “you absolute loser, why can’t you just walk down the corridor without doing something stupid” or “why can everyone else mange to get to their desk without dropping their bag, I’m so clumsy” or any version of the above. And right now, you might be thinki
A few weeks ago, I overheard a conversation in a coffee shop. It was between two mothers in their mid-thirties. They were speaking about another mother at their school and her approach to parenting. They recognised the warmth and love she felt for her children but were flabbergasted at her laissez-faire attitude to structure and boundaries. Essentially, they were describing what psychologists call permissive parenting. Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, who identified the three styles of parenting in the 1960’s, defines permissive parents as “more responsive than they are demanding. They are non-traditional and lenient, allow considerable self-regulation, and do not require mature behaviour”. Now a days permissive parenting is generally identified by low demands and a high level of responsiveness. Parents who are incredibly loving and available for their children… who do not place many limits on their children’s behaviour. Signs that you may be pare