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The E in PERMA. Why engagement matters.


 


Are any of these statements familiar to you?

“I used to love ...... but I just don’t have time anymore”

“I really enjoyed…... but then we had children”

“I used to spend hours doing ……. I can’t remember why I stopped”

These statements are very familiar to me but interestingly not very familiar for my children.  Our children are innately good at finding what psychologists call ‘FLOW’.  This elusive state of engagement where our sense of time fades away and we are totally absorbed in whatever we are doing. 

Susan Perry, a sociologist defines flow as “the word most often used to describe the state of mind that occurs when we are so deeply engaged in some activity that time seems to stop”, to embody this state we need to feel challenged enough but not so challenged that we experience frustration and ultimately want to stop.  It is essentially the sweet spot between too easy and too difficult.   

With children you can observe this phenomenon everyday: when they create Lego structures, make up stories with their doll figures, build complicated dens in the garden.  Sadly, as we get older and our attention gets pulled in all sorts of directions – checking our phones multiple times an hour, trying to do five things at once, constant interruptions from our children - our ability to experience the flow state greatly decreases.  And this matters in terms of our overall wellbeing.  As Adam Grant reported “in the early days of the pandemic the best predictor of wellbeing wasn’t optimism or mindfulness it was flow – people who were more immersed in their projects managed to avoid languishing and maintain their pre-pandemic happiness level”.

Why is flow so beneficial?

Well first of all it feels good, many people describe it as being in the zone.  Maybe it’s trying to catch a wave, or work out a difficult maths problem or maybe it’s creating a paper mache model. When we experience flow, we are in a state of intense concentration and we put aside the normal hustle and bustle of life. It the opposite of jumping from one task to another or one thought to another which is how many of us spend our day outside of flow.  

How do we achieve it?

At the simplest level you need to engage in some kind of activity - but not any old activity.  The activity needs to be carefully chosen and include the following elements

1.       It’s something that you are already interested in

2.       It’s challenging but not so challenging that it creates high levels of frustration and puts you off

3.       When you engage in the activity, you feel absorbed by what you are doing and lose track of time

Sounds simple and it is simple but it’s also very easy to get side tracked.  In the world we live in today our attention is pulled in so many different directions that achieving that sweet spot of flow can be challenging.

Christine Carter, a sociologist from the States shares some helpful ideas

1.       Clear mental clutter.  Make a list of things we need to do that day and deliberately assign a time to each of these tasks.  By doing this we reduce the intrusive reminders about all the things we need to get done that day making the flow state more likely to be sustained

2.       No focus – No flow.  If we have any chance of getting into a flow state we need to reduce or eliminate interruptions. This means we need to set boundaries.  Anything that might distract us.  For most of us this probably means putting our phones in another room, turning off our email alerts, and if we have children making sure they are settled and happy before we drop into “the zone”😊  

     Finally focus on a small goal – pick something small that matters to you and carve out some daily time to focus on this challenge.  By initially committing to a small step, you are much more likely to follow through and once you rediscover the absorption and energy that the flow state can offer know that you are nudging yourself a little bit closer to flourishing.  

      The next blog will focus on the R in PERMA. Why relationships matter. 

 

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