Skip to main content

Are you and your family surviving or thriving? Introducing the PERMA model.

 




The other day someone described themselves army crawling through their life - they were without question surviving – they went to work every day, they got their children on the school bus, they filed their taxes and they managed to keep their household up and running.  This is a familiar circumstance for many of us, we get so consumed with just getting through the day we almost forget to look up and take stock of how we are living out lives.

In psychology we often talk about the mental health curve which was originally developed by Huppert in 2005 and beautifully illustrated here by Emma Hepburn. 


 


 

This curve helps us to appreciate that our mental health exists on a continuum, sometimes we are ahead and sometimes we are just trying to stay afloat.

For a very long time the field of psychology was primarily interested in the in the left-hand side of this curve, researching, classifying and treating those who were struggling with significant mental health difficulties.  It is only in the past 25 years that the spot light has moved to the other end of the continuum in a bid to understand what makes life most worth living and why a small proportion of our population are managing to flourish.   

One of the most prominent researchers at this time was Martin Seligman and he and his team developed the PERMA model.  This model identifies the five essential elements that need to be in place for us to move into a position of thriving.

Positive Emotions

Engagement

Relationships

Meaning

Accomplishment

Over the next two weeks we are going to explore each of these elements and think practically about how we can create more PERMA in both our lives and in the lives of our children.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting: The difference between shame and guilt and why this matters SO much

  Many of us use the terms guilt and shame interchangeably.   We talk about feeling shameful and guilty about something difficult that has happened.     But shame researchers, including Brene Brown, believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt.   Guilt “I did something wrong” Shame “I am wrong” In these two statements there is a subtle difference in language and labelling. But this difference carries a monumental weight.      Guilt is our friend.   Guilt makes us feel uncomfortable about something we have done and this discomfort pushes us to address the situation – going back to the shop with the item we forgot to pay for, saying sorry for being mean, allowing someone else to choose this time.   Feeling bad when we do something wrong might not feel great but it is important.   Otherwise, where would we find the motivation and drive to do better next time or repair the situation this time.   Sha...

Parenting: Managing the inevitable bumps in the road

  You have gone away with the kids for a weekend by the sea.   You have some lovely moments – running in the rain on the beach, cycling through a meadow of wild flowers, fish and chips on the pier…. gorgeous and exactly what you were hoping the weekend might bring.   The weekend also brings some very bumpy moments, the flamed tempers over who had the last strawberry, the chain breaking on one of the bikes, the merciless teasing that only siblings can engage in.   In most families these moments are inevitable but while we all acknowledge this inevitability it is often these moments that define the weekend.   Leaving us feeling sad and deflated. If we think about our kids from a developmental perspective there are so many moments when it is healthy and developmentally appropriate for them to push boundaries and make their own choices.   When we see a two-year-old defiantly walking over to see the ducks after being told not to that is developmentally appropr...

Being on our own team : Self-talk matters

          Imagine this scenario: You are walking along the corridor at work and you accidentally drop your bag and everything spills out all over the floor.   Some people laugh, some people ignore you, some people stop and help you.   We’ve all been there one way or another.   We spill coffee on our white shirt just before an interview, we fail our driving test because we forget to check our mirrors, we try to make a joke and nobody laughs.   This is part of being human. We all get things wrong and we all experience situations that don’t feel great. So, what happens after you drop your bag? How do you show up for yourself?   If you are like the majority of humans, you have probably been pretty unkind to yourself in those moment – “you absolute loser, why can’t you just walk down the corridor without doing something stupid” or “why can everyone else mange to get to their desk without dropping their bag, I’m so clumsy” or any version o...