Skip to main content

The A in PERMA. Why achievement matters


 

One of the most exciting discoveries in the past 20 years is the fact that our brains are constantly changing.   Psychologists call this neuroplasticity and essentially what this means is that our remarkable brains can continue to grow and evolve in response to the experiences that it is exposed to. And this can happen all the way through our lives.

Understanding and believing that our brains can get better with time and effort is possibly one of the most important pieces of information both for ourselves and for our children.  Carol Dweck has carried out extensive research in this area and identified two types of mindsets:  

Growth mindset - a belief that our intelligence and our general ability can be improved with support and hard work

Fixed mindset – a belief that our intelligence and ability can’t change regardless of what we do

As you can probably imagine the first one creates high levels of motivation while the second one can generate feelings of helplessness for both children and adults alike.  Of course, having a fixed or growth mindset is not static for any of us.  We are all a mix and sometimes our ability to access our growth mindset can feel really challenging, and that’s OK that is being human.  It is just important to recognise that when we believe (or our children believe) that our brains can get stronger, we are so much more motivated to put the time and effort into our aspirations.

This is significant because when we talk about achievement in PERMA, we are not necessarily talking about the end product but rather that lovely sense of accomplishment we feel when we are working hard towards a goal.    When we experience a sense of achievement – completing the house work, finishing a paper or creating a nice dinner we all experience a hit of dopamine.  You know that lovey feel good neurotransmitter that just makes us feel great.  And this is hugely relevant because when our brains experience a hit of dopamine it motivates us to do more…. in order to get more. 

To experience achievement, it really isn’t about reaching big grand goals but rather taking small steps towards this goal each day.  I want to be a writer so each day I set myself the task of writing for 10 minutes.  The satisfaction I feel when I can tick this small achievement off each day gives me a hit of dopamine and also a lovely feeling of pride as I see my writing blog grow.  And this is what brings me back the next day for the next 10 minutes, my brain wants more dopamine and I get to experience an ongoing sense of accomplishment and pride which nudges me a little bit closer to flourishing.

Putting this into practice

·       Identify something you would like to get better at - this might be writing a blog, learning the piano, or maybe teaching yourself how to do a French braid (very tricky by the way!)

·       Break it down into small manageable steps.  Even committing to 1 minute a day has the power to create a sense of achievement.  As James Clear tells us it is about consistency over intensity.

·       Sit back and enjoy the gorgeous energy that comes with a dopamine hit and use this energy to help you to show up again the next day.   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being on our own team : Self-talk matters

          Imagine this scenario: You are walking along the corridor at work and you accidentally drop your bag and everything spills out all over the floor.   Some people laugh, some people ignore you, some people stop and help you.   We’ve all been there one way or another.   We spill coffee on our white shirt just before an interview, we fail our driving test because we forget to check our mirrors, we try to make a joke and nobody laughs.   This is part of being human. We all get things wrong and we all experience situations that don’t feel great. So, what happens after you drop your bag? How do you show up for yourself?   If you are like the majority of humans, you have probably been pretty unkind to yourself in those moment – “you absolute loser, why can’t you just walk down the corridor without doing something stupid” or “why can everyone else mange to get to their desk without dropping their bag, I’m so clumsy” or any version o...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting: Why normalising can protect our children from future shame

  Much of what we feel comfortable talking about stems from our home environment.   What was allowed and what wasn’t.    Parts of our bodies smell bad sometimes, it is normal and part of being human.   But what if, when we start to talk about the weird smell, we immediately get shut down “no more of that talk please” or “that’s private and not something you share.”   Many of these comments are made from a place of good intention, we want our children to follow the social norms of whatever culture we live in.   But when our children voice valid experiences and these valid experiences are hushed up or ignored this creates feelings of shame and isolation.   If our body smells bad and we can’t talk about it we have no way of knowing that everyone’s body smells bad from time to time.   If on the other hand we take a normalisation approach and say something like “tell me a bit more about it, my body sometimes smells bad too” …. This normalisation m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting: Our teenagers are supposed to have intense emotions

  I was speaking to a friend this week and she was talking about the focus on mental health and wellbeing in her daughter’s new school.   Like most parents she was pleased to see the school shift in this direction but she had also observed a change in her daughter’s choice of words.   Words like worry and sad were being replaced with words like stressed, anxious or depressed.    And while more sophisticated use of language is part of the normal developmental trajectory it got me wondering about how our young people are making sense of their feelings within this new world of embracing mental health.     Mood swings are a defining feature of adolescence.   During this period of development our kids will experience their emotions more intensely than any other time in their lives.   This happens because their brains are under construction – they are getting faster and more specialised, ultimately supporting our kids move into adulthood.   ...
Post a Comment
Read more