Some simple ideas to look after our own wellbeing

Some simple ideas to look after our own wellbeing 

As our time in social isolation increases the pervasive uncertainty of this situation will continue to grow.   And while anxiety is a natural and normal (and often very helpful!) response it is only meant to happen for brief periods of time. When our bodies stress response is always on, the physiological response remains active. This means that stress is no longer helping us to feel energised and alert but is in fact becoming hugely unhelpful to our physical and emotional wellbeing. 

Fortunately, there are a number of things we can do to look after our wellbeing and increase our resilience.  Here are five suggestions taken from Five Ways to Wellbeing which was developed by Nic Marks in 2008. 

Connect with other people

We now have compelling evidence that positive relationships contribute to a long and happy life.  The more closely we are connected to the people we love, the happier we feel and the more satisfaction we experience.  Importantly these connections are not just about individual people it’s also about the communities we belong to and the sense of identity and belonging we get from these communities – football teams, community groups, work colleagues. 

So how do we continue to remain connected in a time when we are working hard to keep our loved ones and ourselves safe by physical distancing….

·       An old-fashioned phone call. Make plans to have regular calls or video chats with friends and family. The science tells us that when we are distressed, we benefit much more from hearing the voices of our loved ones, so even if you don’t feel like having a chat you could leave a voice message.   

·       Communicate with the intention to connect – all of our lives are more curtailed at the moment and people often worry about having nothing new to say but communication is more than a way to convey information it is also how we show other people we care.  

·       Start listening to podcasts or webinars; this is a really helpful way to link in to a community of likeminded people which can enhance our sense of belonging  

Be Active

The research is clear, exercise is an actual superpower in terms of its ability to lift our mood and increase our energy levels, and who doesn’t want a little bit more energy especially if you are currently holding the reins for home school, home management and maybe home working! 

Being active does not necessarily mean that we are going to start training for a marathon (although that’s Ok if that’s what you fancy) it means taking any small steps towards increasing the level of activity in our day. 

·       Start simple - pick something you enjoy so you are more likely to stay with it

·       Protect a set time in your normal routine – consistency is critical if you want to make a new habit stick  

·       Ask someone to join you – it’s so much easier to be active with someone else even if this means virtually going for a walk with someone or taking an online class  

·       Be imperfect and kind – don’t expect everything to go smoothly, try your best but expect bumps along the way and when they happen be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow   

Take Notice  

We now live in a society where busyness is worn and recognised as a badge of honour.  We applaud people for taking on more and more as a sign of a strong character.  However, we now know from the research that our brains are not very good at multitasking, in actual fact switching back and forth between tasks makes us much less efficient and makes it more likely that we will make mistakes.  But this is hard, we live in a culture where more is better – more money, more education, more to do and as a result of this we find it extremely difficult to slow down. Can you think of the last time you managed to stand in a queue or a lift without feeling the need to take out your phone and check your emails or get a news update?  We feel guilty and uncomfortable with doing nothing but actually when we allow our brains to wander without specific stimulation, we activate the creative parts of our brains which is often when we have our best ideas. 

So how can we use this time as an opportunity and begin to take more notice in a world that privileges busy…..  

•  One simple way that we can start to engage more in the present moment is to do what Pema Chodron calls “pause practice”.  This is a simple way that we can temporarily step out of the stream of thoughts and busyness that can so easily carry us away during the day.  
• To do this you just need to pause and take three conscious breaths. That’s it! This pause brings you into the present moment and temporarily away from whatever is preoccupying you. This allows you to notice where you are and what is happening in that moment.  
• Pema Chodron writes “Let it be a contrast to being all caught up. Let it be like popping a bubble. Let it be just a moment in time, and then go on.”

Learn

Learning a useful skill is always a helpful idea but what’s even better is the significant boost it can give our sense of happiness and wellbeing.  When we think about learning we often think about our children, we want to support their development and ensure they have the life skills to eventually grow into independent adults.  And while this is incredibly important, we now recognise the significant contribution continued learning can make to adult health and wellbeing. Using our brain in new ways and challenging ourselves to learn new things comes with a whole host of benefits. These  include stress reduction, fun (when is the last time you learned something just for fun!)  and a sense of achievement which is well recognised as fundamental to our wellbeing.   And the good news is that it doesn’t have to be complicated or require a grand commitment it can be as simple as ….  

• Having a stimulating conversation with other people about a topic you are interested in  
• Listening to a podcast 
• Trying a brand-new recipe 
• Travelling (maybe virtually at the moment!) to somewhere new and learning about the culture and way of life
• Reading a book  
  

Giving

Three things in life are important

The first is to be kind

The second is to be kind

The third is to be kind

Henry James

Unfortunately, in a society that often privileges material success and a culture of more, kindness can often be overlooked and considered a soft skill.  But you dismiss kindness at your pearl because the enormous benefits of kindness cannot be overstated. 

What we need to recognise about kindness is the ripple effect.  It turns out that while many people think about kindness as a selfless act of generosity, the benefits can actually spread to both the giver, the receiver and even to those who witness the interaction.  The literature is full of examples of ‘helper’s high’ which is a real thing that we all experience after performing even small acts of kindness for other people.  This phenomenon strengthens our immune system and increases our serotonin levels, often called ‘happy hormones’ which have a powerful impact on our mood. The ripple effect means that these benefits are also experienced by the recipient and perhaps most extraordinarily is the fact that anyone who just happened to observe the act of kindness has the same physiological responses as the giver and the receiver.

So, let’s use the current opportunity of increased connection and cohesion to grow our kindness knowing that one small act of kindness can ripple through you, through your family, through your community and through your world.

Here are some simple ideas ….

·       Send a postcard to someone you think might be struggling at the moment

·       Donate a small amount of money to some of the local charities supporting those struggling with the current situation

·       Smile and say good morning to anyone you meet

·       Support independent bookshops and local businesses

·       Wash our hands and observe the social distancing rules – this small act of kindness will not only make you feel better it will also save lives

Lea Waters, professor of psychology at the University of Melbourne, writes about the emotional impact of the corona virus spreading like an emotional Mexican wave which is travelling with an ocean of support and kindness around it. Let’s join the ocean.  

Dr Tamara Scully is a Chartered Clinical Psychologist based in the UK.  Tamara runs Castle Psychology (www.castlepsychology.co.uk)  and is passionate about promoting wellbeing and resilience in children, young people and their families