If you have two or more children you will definitely have heard some version of “you love her more” or “that’s not fair, he always gets his way”. Generally, it happens in the middle of a row about something small, who gets to lie on the big sofa or whose party get prioritised when there is only one car available. Parents will often describe this to me as jealousy and they are probably right. We often use envy and jealousy interchangeably as if they mean the same thing, but they don’t. Envy is wanting something someone else has. Jealousy is the worry that we are losing a relationship, or part of it, to someone else. Between our kids it is usually a bit of both, but a lot of it is closer to jealousy. When our teen says their sister gets everything, the new trainers might be part of it, but often the bigger part is unconscious worry about getting pushed further away from us. This makes sense when we think about where sibling rivalry st...