You know the way the whole house changes in the run-up to exams. They're stressed, we're stressed, and most of us start saying things we wouldn't say at any other time of year. Things like this is the one that matters and if you don't do well now you'll regret it. We mean well. We're trying to motivate them, or sometimes we're just worried and it comes out as pressure. But there's a fairly large body of research now telling us that this kind of talk, which researchers call fear appeals , actually makes things worse for the teenagers who are already anxious. It bumps up the worry, gets in the way of their concentration in the exam itself, and is associated with lower grades, not higher ones. So before we get to what we can do, it's worth starting with what's not helping. Because most of us are doing one or two of these without realising. Why anxious thoughts make exams harder We all know our teens have to remember a lot for exams. Frenc...