Skip to main content

Why breathing is a superpower


 

I work with many teenagers and when I mention breathing it often elicits eye rolls and yawning.  And I get it, we breath all day every day and most of the young people I see are tired of people telling them to take some deep breaths. 

The beauty of deep steady breathing is that we don’t have to believe it will work in order for it to work. When we get overwhelmed by our big feelings, we automatically start to breath more quickly and this activates the stress response in our bodies.  Our heart starts to beat super-fast in order to pump blood into our arms and legs and our breathing speeds up to increase the level of oxygen in our bodies.  This often feels really uncomfortable and many people describe feeling out of control in these moments.    

This is where breathing becomes our superpower.  It is something that we always have with us, we never leave it at home and even if we don’t believe for one tiny second it will help …. it will because deep steady breathing is our bodies relaxation switch.  When we take slow steady breaths right into our bellies a number of wonderful things happen.  We activate something called the parasympathetic nervous system which is the bodies relaxation response - by flicking this switch the body has no choice but to slow down our pounding hearts and reduce the level of adrenaline and cortisol in our bodies.  This slowing down automatically reduces the intensity of anxiety. It wouldn’t take the anxiety away but it will reduce it enough for us to feel calmer in our bodies while also increasing our access to the thinking part of our brain.  

One of the most important things to remember about deep steady breathing is making the outbreath longer then the inbreath.  So, if you breath in for 4 try and breath our for 6, or if you breath in for 5 try and breath out for 7.  The number variation doesn’t matter so much as long as you follow the general principle of out for longer than in.  We also need to make sure that we are breathing right into our bellies.  One simple way to check is to watch our bellies, if they are rising and falling in a noticeable way, we are getting it right.  The final thing to hold in mind is practice.  When we feel overwhelmed and our survival response is activated the brain is not be very good at remembering that we have this amazing tool that will work straight away.  To overcome this complication, we need to spend time building up our deep breathing pathway when we are feeling calm.  We can do this through consistent practice – practice for just one minute a day if that is all you can manage.  The consistency of the practice is much more important than the intensity. 

Here are some simple ideas to get you started...

Finger Breathing

·       Hold your left hand up, palm facing you with your fingers open

·       Place your index finger at the bottom of your thumb

·       Slowly trace your index finger to the top of your thumb while you breath in for 5

·       Pause for one at the top of your thumb

·       Slowly trace your index finger to the bottom of your thumb while you breath out for 7

·       Repeat this process for all four of your fingers and return to the starting position

·       Repeat the process

Figure of Eight Breathing

·       Use your right index finger to trace the figure 8 on the inside of your left wrist

·       Breath in for a count of 5 as you create the S shape

·       Pause at the bottom for a count of 1

·       Breath out for count of 7 as you complete the figure 8

·       Repeat the process  

If you have little people the following exercise is a really fun way to introduce them to the concept of breathing

Taking Teddy for a Ride 😊

·       Explain to your little person that you are going to take their teddies for a ride

·       Ask them to pick their favourite teddies, one for them and one for you

·       Lie down on the floor together and place the teddies on your tummies

·       Ask them to take a deep breath into their bellies and watch as their teddy moves up with their tummy

·       Now ask them to blow out all the air in their tummies and watch as the teddy comes back down

Little children find this activity really funny and will often giggle their way through it.  This is good, when they are giggling, we know they are relaxed and our brains are so much better at learning when they are relaxed.

 

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting: The difference between shame and guilt and why this matters SO much

  Many of us use the terms guilt and shame interchangeably.   We talk about feeling shameful and guilty about something difficult that has happened.     But shame researchers, including Brene Brown, believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt.   Guilt “I did something wrong” Shame “I am wrong” In these two statements there is a subtle difference in language and labelling. But this difference carries a monumental weight.      Guilt is our friend.   Guilt makes us feel uncomfortable about something we have done and this discomfort pushes us to address the situation – going back to the shop with the item we forgot to pay for, saying sorry for being mean, allowing someone else to choose this time.   Feeling bad when we do something wrong might not feel great but it is important.   Otherwise, where would we find the motivation and drive to do better next time or repair the situation this time.   Sha...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting: Managing the inevitable bumps in the road

  You have gone away with the kids for a weekend by the sea.   You have some lovely moments – running in the rain on the beach, cycling through a meadow of wild flowers, fish and chips on the pier…. gorgeous and exactly what you were hoping the weekend might bring.   The weekend also brings some very bumpy moments, the flamed tempers over who had the last strawberry, the chain breaking on one of the bikes, the merciless teasing that only siblings can engage in.   In most families these moments are inevitable but while we all acknowledge this inevitability it is often these moments that define the weekend.   Leaving us feeling sad and deflated. If we think about our kids from a developmental perspective there are so many moments when it is healthy and developmentally appropriate for them to push boundaries and make their own choices.   When we see a two-year-old defiantly walking over to see the ducks after being told not to that is developmentally appropr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Understanding the connection between anger and self worth

  I was listening to podcast yesterday with Dr Becky Kennedy, the author of Good Inside, and she said this “Anger is a sign that we have preserved access to our self-worth.”   When we have a high level of self-worth and we do not have access to the things we need we feel angry.   She talked about having a “healthy entitlement” to what you want and need which is intimately connected to feeling worthy. Psychologists often consider anger to be a secondary emotion.   Anger is often what we see when people are feeling any number of other emotions – shame, humiliation, grief.   Anger is often easier to express than shame or humiliation.   It is often easier to say “I’m so livid about what happen” than “I feel really ashamed about what happened”.   Brene Brown in her beautiful book Atlas of the Heart suggests that as many as 20 of the 87 emotions she identifies in the book are likely to present as anger.   How we manage our emotions is influenced b...
Post a Comment
Read more