You have gone away with the kids for a weekend by the sea. You have some lovely moments – running in the rain on the beach, cycling through a meadow of wild flowers, fish and chips on the pier…. gorgeous and exactly what you were hoping the weekend might bring. The weekend also brings some very bumpy moments, the flamed tempers over who had the last strawberry, the chain breaking on one of the bikes, the merciless teasing that only siblings can engage in. In most families these moments are inevitable but while we all acknowledge this inevitability it is often these moments that define the weekend. Leaving us feeling sad and deflated. If we think about our kids from a developmental perspective there are so many moments when it is healthy and developmentally appropriate for them to push boundaries and make their own choices. When we see a two-year-old defiantly walking over to see the ducks after being told not to that is developmentally appropriate, when we see a teenager