Skip to main content

The teenage brain for teenagers

 



So how much do you know about your brain? I am guessing probably not a lot and actually none of us knew very much about the teenage brain until about 20 years ago.  We used to think that all of our brain development happened in our early years but now we know this is not the case. 

In actual fact your brain goes through some pretty phenomenal changes that start when you begin puberty and actually don’t finish until you get to your mid-twenties.  That’s right your brain is not fully developed until 25 at the earliest, maybe even a little bit later.

The first thing to know is that different parts of our brain develop at different speeds.  One of the first parts of your brain to develop is called the limbic system where the amygdala lives.  This is the part of your brain that is responsible for all of your emotional reactions – anger, sadness, excitement and is also the part that is responsible for keeping you safe by activating your flight, flight, freeze response.  This is a brilliant and very important part of our brain, but it is not great at making good decisions.  For good decisions we need the part of our brain called the prefrontal cortex – this is the part that sits just behind our forehead and is often called the control tower  - this is the part that helps us to plan, organise, think about potential consequences and is really good at helping us to manage our big feelings like frustration or anger.  The trouble is this is the part of our brain that is under construction in adolescence and will not be fully functional until you are at least 25.  What this means is that during your teenage years (like now) many of your decisions will be much more influenced by the emotional rather than the rational part of the brain.   

Now this is not all bad news.  Our brains develop like this for a very good reason - to help us to make the transition into adulthood.  To become brave independent adults, we (and our parents!) need to embrace these changes and start exploring the big amazing world we live in. 

So, what do you need to know about the adolescent brain? According to Dan Siegel, who knows a lot about the brain, there are four things we need to hold in mind….

1.      As teenagers you are going to experience your emotions much more intently than at other times in your life.  And this is fantastic because it is these intense emotions that drive your big bright shining passion and vitality come from encouraging you to try new things and engage with new people.  The tricky part of this is that it can make life less predictable, because one thing we know for sure is that emotions in adolescence can change very rapidly, sometimes making for a very bumpy ride.

2.  Another big change that happens in adolescence is that your friends and being part of a peer group becomes super important.  This is why it can feel so painful when we experience difficulties in our friendship group.  The other thing you will notice is that while your friends become more and more important the relationship between you and your parents/carers might start to feel different and less close something that can feel a bit weird and unsettling.  But remember this is happening for a reason, the main job of adolescence is to get you ready for adulthood and the changes in your brain will be pushing you towards your peers and a little bit further away from your parents to help you to make this transition.   

3.    As a teenager you love new things, particularly new things that are a little (or a big) bit risky.  This drive to try new things is really important and will give you lots of motivation to explore and challenge yourself.  The tricky part of these brain changes is that you will probably focus on the thrill and excitement and not think very much about the potential risk. This is because the part of your brain that is good at considering the consequences is under construction and not working very well as a result.  So, if at all possible, it’s always helpful to PAUSE and have a quick think about what you are about to do before you do it.  Easier said than done, I know!!

4.     As a teenager your brain is beginning to be able to think in much more complex ways and because your brain is designed to push away from adult ideas you will often feel like questioning the adults around you and pushing against boundaries.  Sometimes this can feel a bit unsettling, especially when you suddenly realise your parents/carers are not so clever after all and actually are just normal fallible human beings (or maybe you knew this already😊)  However, the massively positive side to all of this is your ability to imagine all sorts of new things and it’s because of this that teenagers are often really good at coming up innovative and exciting solutions to all sorts of difficulties that adults are unable to resolve.

Finally…

Your teenage brain is amazing.  And although all the changes can be difficult to make sense of it is because of these changes that adolescence is a time of remarkable opportunity, creativity and energy. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting: Why normalising can protect our children from future shame

  Much of what we feel comfortable talking about stems from our home environment.   What was allowed and what wasn’t.    Parts of our bodies smell bad sometimes, it is normal and part of being human.   But what if, when we start to talk about the weird smell, we immediately get shut down “no more of that talk please” or “that’s private and not something you share.”   Many of these comments are made from a place of good intention, we want our children to follow the social norms of whatever culture we live in.   But when our children voice valid experiences and these valid experiences are hushed up or ignored this creates feelings of shame and isolation.   If our body smells bad and we can’t talk about it we have no way of knowing that everyone’s body smells bad from time to time.   If on the other hand we take a normalisation approach and say something like “tell me a bit more about it, my body sometimes smells bad too” …. This normalisation m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting: Our teenagers are supposed to have intense emotions

  I was speaking to a friend this week and she was talking about the focus on mental health and wellbeing in her daughter’s new school.   Like most parents she was pleased to see the school shift in this direction but she had also observed a change in her daughter’s choice of words.   Words like worry and sad were being replaced with words like stressed, anxious or depressed.    And while more sophisticated use of language is part of the normal developmental trajectory it got me wondering about how our young people are making sense of their feelings within this new world of embracing mental health.     Mood swings are a defining feature of adolescence.   During this period of development our kids will experience their emotions more intensely than any other time in their lives.   This happens because their brains are under construction – they are getting faster and more specialised, ultimately supporting our kids move into adulthood.   ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting: Moving our children from “BUT” to “AND”

Next week is children’s mental health week and the theme this year is “ Know yourself, grow yourself”.  In our schools our children will be exploring the different parts of themselves – the kind part, the mean part, the lazy part, the super competitive part.  They will be meeting their big feelings and learning that all our emotions have a place and a job and it is important to make room for every single one.  The tide has finally started to change and we are now beginning to support our young people to shift themselves from a “BUT” to an “AND” From “I would like to go to the party BUT I am feeling anxious about going” to  “I would like to go to the party AND I am feeling anxious about going” This may appear to be a benign change but within these small words lies so much agency both for ourselves and for our children.  Within this context imagine your child has been invited to a playdate.  They are super excited and they are super anxious.  Their mind ...
Post a Comment
Read more