You know those morning when you
can’t be bothered getting out of bed and everything, even getting dressed,
feels like a massive effort. This is
normal and it’s probably something we have all experienced more over the past
year. It’s something that most of us
move in and out of and while it feels pretty miserable at the time, we know it
will pass.
For some of us, however, this low
mood can hang around for longer and start influencing lots of things like our
energy levels, our interest and motivation, how irritable we are and our
ability to sleep… to name just a few.
And if that’s not enough, low mood can also start giving us some really
bad advice- telling us to stay away from other people and not to bother doing
the things that we used to enjoy because there is no point.
When this happens it probably
means that we need to start doing some of the things we know will help us to
boss the low mood back to a more manageable place.
So how do we do that ….
Rewards matter
First up is doing more of the
things that matter to you. I am
not talking about the things that matter to your parents or carers but actually
the things that matter to you. This
might be things like listening to music, connecting with friends, learning how
to play your guitar. Make a list of the
things you like doing and think about the smallest step you can take towards
doing more of that thing. For example, if
the thing that you value is playing your guitar the first small step might be
picking up your guitar for 5 minutes and learning to play a few cords. This is where the magic happens – by spending
that five minutes doing something that you find rewarding you get a small (but
very important) boost of energy.
This boost of energy makes it more likely that you will do something
else that you enjoy doing which gives you another small boost and so it
continues…
I bet this statement is familiar to you “ I will do it when I feel better “ - it is definitely familiar to me – but what we know is doing even a very small amount of whatever it is we enjoy has far reaching benefits in terms of low mood. So don’t wait to feel better to do the things you enjoy, instead allow the things you enjoy to help you back into a better place.
Unhelpful thoughts
Although most of us know that
going over things again and again in our heads is not helpful this is something
that is really difficult to stop doing.
Just take a second and try not to think about a little blue car …. how
did you do? It’s not easy is it! When we
get hijacked by our thoughts this can have a powerful impact on our low
mood. And while we are not able to stop
the thoughts from happening there are a number of helpful ways that we can
unhook from these thoughts.
Our thoughts are a little bit
like a radio, constantly playing in the background but not necessarily
providing interesting or accurate information.
Remember thoughts are only ideas not facts. We can’t turn the radio off, but we can
choose not to engage with the thoughts and to just allow them to come and go at
their own pace. This is difficult to do
and one of the things that helps is imaging our thoughts as trains travelling
in and out of a station. They arrive,
they linger, and they eventually leave.
When our mood is low managing our
unhelpful thoughts is exhausting and sometimes it’s helpful to do something
else for a while. Choose something you enjoy that absorbs all your attention
and energy, this will allow your brain to take a break and give you the
opportunity to recharge your batteries.
If this can involve physically moving your body and outside space it
will be doubly beneficial.
Relationships
As human beings we are designed
to spend time with other people. When we
spent time with other people this essentially puts the breaks on our stress
response and gives our brain the message I am with other people and everything
is OK.
However, when our mood is low
relationships can feel tricky. Here are
a couple of things to hold in mind…
Talk about it: Try and let
someone know how you are feeling.
Parents and carers are especially guilty of jumping to conclusions so even
a small amount of information (I am not feeling great today) about how
you are feeling will be helpful. If
talking about it is too tricky maybe send them a text or leave them a note
Stay connected: We know
that low mood often advises us to avoid other people but it’s important that
you try and stay connected, especially with your peers. If being with people is too tricky then find
other ways to connect, things like online games or texting can feel a little
bit easier than face to face contact
Finally…
While we all experience low mood
from time to time, experiencing ongoing low mood that impacts on our ability to
do the things that are important to us is hard to manage. Sometimes the very best thing we can do is to
ask a trusted adult for some help and support.
If this feels too hard you can access online support in the following
places
Depression
self-help guide | NHS inform
Supporting
Your Child with Depression and Low Mood (youngminds.org.uk)
MOODJUICE
- Behavioural Activation - Self-help Guide (scot.nhs.uk)
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