Skip to main content

Low mood in teens: some simple but powerful ideas


 

You know those morning when you can’t be bothered getting out of bed and everything, even getting dressed, feels like a massive effort.  This is normal and it’s probably something we have all experienced more over the past year.  It’s something that most of us move in and out of and while it feels pretty miserable at the time, we know it will pass. 

For some of us, however, this low mood can hang around for longer and start influencing lots of things like our energy levels, our interest and motivation, how irritable we are and our ability to sleep… to name just a few.  And if that’s not enough, low mood can also start giving us some really bad advice- telling us to stay away from other people and not to bother doing the things that we used to enjoy because there is no point. 

When this happens it probably means that we need to start doing some of the things we know will help us to boss the low mood back to a more manageable place. 

So how do we do that ….

Rewards matter

First up is doing more of the things that matter to you.     I am not talking about the things that matter to your parents or carers but actually the things that matter to you.  This might be things like listening to music, connecting with friends, learning how to play your guitar.  Make a list of the things you like doing and think about the smallest step you can take towards doing more of that thing.  For example, if the thing that you value is playing your guitar the first small step might be picking up your guitar for 5 minutes and learning to play a few cords.  This is where the magic happens – by spending that five minutes doing something that you find rewarding you get a small (but very important) boost of energy.  This boost of energy makes it more likely that you will do something else that you enjoy doing which gives you another small boost and so it continues…  

I bet this statement is familiar to you “ I will do it when I feel better  - it is definitely familiar to me – but what we know is doing even a very small amount of whatever it is we enjoy has far reaching benefits in terms of low mood.   So don’t wait to feel better to do the things you enjoy, instead allow the things you enjoy to help you back into a better place. 

Unhelpful thoughts

Although most of us know that going over things again and again in our heads is not helpful this is something that is really difficult to stop doing.   Just take a second and try not to think about a little blue car …. how did you do? It’s not easy is it!  When we get hijacked by our thoughts this can have a powerful impact on our low mood.  And while we are not able to stop the thoughts from happening there are a number of helpful ways that we can unhook from these thoughts. 

Our thoughts are a little bit like a radio, constantly playing in the background but not necessarily providing interesting or accurate information.  Remember thoughts are only ideas not facts.  We can’t turn the radio off, but we can choose not to engage with the thoughts and to just allow them to come and go at their own pace.  This is difficult to do and one of the things that helps is imaging our thoughts as trains travelling in and out of a station.  They arrive, they linger, and they eventually leave.

When our mood is low managing our unhelpful thoughts is exhausting and sometimes it’s helpful to do something else for a while. Choose something you enjoy that absorbs all your attention and energy, this will allow your brain to take a break and give you the opportunity to recharge your batteries.  If this can involve physically moving your body and outside space it will be doubly beneficial.  

Relationships

As human beings we are designed to spend time with other people.  When we spent time with other people this essentially puts the breaks on our stress response and gives our brain the message I am with other people and everything is OK. 

However, when our mood is low relationships can feel tricky.  Here are a couple of things to hold in mind… 

Talk about it: Try and let someone know how you are feeling.  Parents and carers are especially guilty of jumping to conclusions so even a small amount of information (I am not feeling great today) about how you are feeling will be helpful.  If talking about it is too tricky maybe send them a text or leave them a note 

Stay connected: We know that low mood often advises us to avoid other people but it’s important that you try and stay connected, especially with your peers.  If being with people is too tricky then find other ways to connect, things like online games or texting can feel a little bit easier than face to face contact

Finally…

While we all experience low mood from time to time, experiencing ongoing low mood that impacts on our ability to do the things that are important to us is hard to manage.  Sometimes the very best thing we can do is to ask a trusted adult for some help and support.  If this feels too hard you can access online support in the following places

Depression self-help guide | NHS inform

Supporting Your Child with Depression and Low Mood (youngminds.org.uk)

MOODJUICE - Behavioural Activation - Self-help Guide (scot.nhs.uk)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Being on our own team : Self-talk matters

          Imagine this scenario: You are walking along the corridor at work and you accidentally drop your bag and everything spills out all over the floor.   Some people laugh, some people ignore you, some people stop and help you.   We’ve all been there one way or another.   We spill coffee on our white shirt just before an interview, we fail our driving test because we forget to check our mirrors, we try to make a joke and nobody laughs.   This is part of being human. We all get things wrong and we all experience situations that don’t feel great. So, what happens after you drop your bag? How do you show up for yourself?   If you are like the majority of humans, you have probably been pretty unkind to yourself in those moment – “you absolute loser, why can’t you just walk down the corridor without doing something stupid” or “why can everyone else mange to get to their desk without dropping their bag, I’m so clumsy” or any version o...

Parenting: Why normalising can protect our children from future shame

  Much of what we feel comfortable talking about stems from our home environment.   What was allowed and what wasn’t.    Parts of our bodies smell bad sometimes, it is normal and part of being human.   But what if, when we start to talk about the weird smell, we immediately get shut down “no more of that talk please” or “that’s private and not something you share.”   Many of these comments are made from a place of good intention, we want our children to follow the social norms of whatever culture we live in.   But when our children voice valid experiences and these valid experiences are hushed up or ignored this creates feelings of shame and isolation.   If our body smells bad and we can’t talk about it we have no way of knowing that everyone’s body smells bad from time to time.   If on the other hand we take a normalisation approach and say something like “tell me a bit more about it, my body sometimes smells bad too” …. This normalisation m...

Parenting: Our teenagers are supposed to have intense emotions

  I was speaking to a friend this week and she was talking about the focus on mental health and wellbeing in her daughter’s new school.   Like most parents she was pleased to see the school shift in this direction but she had also observed a change in her daughter’s choice of words.   Words like worry and sad were being replaced with words like stressed, anxious or depressed.    And while more sophisticated use of language is part of the normal developmental trajectory it got me wondering about how our young people are making sense of their feelings within this new world of embracing mental health.     Mood swings are a defining feature of adolescence.   During this period of development our kids will experience their emotions more intensely than any other time in their lives.   This happens because their brains are under construction – they are getting faster and more specialised, ultimately supporting our kids move into adulthood.   ...