How school communities can promote resilience in young people

 

Even before the worldwide pandemic we were already witnessing a rise in the number of children and young people who were struggling to manage the challenges they faced.  We are all familiar with the story of young people lacking the grit and resilience of previous generations.  At best this story is not overly helpful at worst it generates feeling of blame and shame in a generation of young people who are actually doing the best they can. 

Now in the midst of a global pandemic we know many young people are finding it difficult to manage the high levels of uncertainty and loss that they are continuing to manage on a daily basis.  This is where resilience can create a significant difference.

So, what is resilience … 

Resilience is our ability to bounce back and continue to move forward in the face of challenging situations.  Resilience is not never being frightened or scared, it is feeling these normal natural emotions and being able to remain upright.   Resilience in young people is important because it is resilience that allows them to push themselves and take on new challenges, especially when they think they might not be able to do it. 

Young people are not born resilient, there is no resilience gene.  Resilience is something that can be developed and strengthened over time.  And fortunately, there are a number of ways that we, as a community of adults, can support our young people to develop more resilience. 

Number 1 Foster positive connections

The foundation of resilience is relationships.  And while the primary care giving relationship is fundamental to this it is not the only relationship that matters. 

As staff in a school community we are better placed than most to foster positive connections with the young people coming through our doors every day.

What our young people need, particularly those who have not experienced positive loving relationships at home, is to have the experience of being seen and valued for who they are.  This means being human and responding with warmth and empathy.  When young people know there are people who have their back this allows them to feel safe and when we feel safe it is so much easier to take risks and try new things which in turn builds resilience. 

Dr Karen Triesman coined the phrase ‘every interaction is an intervention’ which sits beautifully alongside Dr Bruce Perry’s idea of therapeutic dosing – every time a young person has a positive experience (however brief) with the adults around them these interactions become hard wired and they can start to trust that there are safe relationships in the world.

For young people in our schools it is actually the little things that are the most powerful.  It’s about greeting students warmly in the morning, it’s about checking in with how the weekend went, it’s about smiling at them in the corridor, it’s about saying “that is really hard” when they are struggling.  So much of the time our young people don’t want or need solutions they just want to be seen.

 

Number 2 Self-regulation

Being able to manage our big feelings and continue to engage with our daily life is something we are all continuing to develop.  For our young people whose prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain that helps us to manage big feeling and make good decisions) is still developing, this can be difficult to do on their own.  Some of the things we see when young people are struggling with self-regulation include poor decision making, changes in behaviour, lack of motivation, hypervigilance. 

So how can we support our students to further develop their regulation skills. 

·       Provide a responsive relationship by privileging curiosity and recognising the early warning signs of dysregulation.

·       Responding with empathy and warmth. 

·       Holding appropriate boundaries so the young person’s environment feels safe and secure

·       Modelling our own self-regulation skills and supporting them to access resources to further develop their own emotional regulation skills

Number 3 Achievement - Support a growth mindset

We all know the scenario; a class has just finished an exam and you hear the young person in the back-corner sign and say I am never going to able to do this.  Or you have that child who completely refuses to try anything new because his fear of failure makes taking on new challenges too scary.  But I bet you also know the child who is always willing to give something a try and even when they get it wrong, they are prepared to try again tomorrow.  These are the children who have what Carol Dweck calls a growth mindset which is “the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts”.  This is in contrast to the fixed mindset which is “believing your qualities are carved in stone”.  In terms of resilience the impact of mindset is extraordinary.  When we believe that we can learn and improve from our mistakes, and that our amazing brain can grow new skills and abilities being brave and doing things that we might not be able to do perfectly is so much easier. 

And while it’s important to recognise that mindsets exist on a continuum and we all move up and down this continuum there are a number of things we can do to promote a growth mindset in our students.

·       Help them to understand that their brains can grow and get better and stronger with practice

·       Making sure we are praising effort over achievement – instead of saying ‘wow you are so clever to have achieved an A” try “wow you must have worked incredibly hard to have achieved that mark”

·       The power of ‘yet’. Taking this very small but very powerful word is one of the easiest ways to introduce the concept of a growth mindset.  Imagine the student who says “I am no good at writing essays” to the student who says “I am no good at writing essays YET”

Number 4 Meaning and engagement

For our young people (and ourselves) it is important that we feel part of something bigger than ourselves, something that creates meaning and purpose and also gives us a sense of belonging.

This is particularly difficult for our young people at the moment.  They have experienced such a multitude of losses over the past nine months, their structure, their exams, their time with friends, their proms, their dance class, their sports team, and on the list goes. Our default as adults can be to dismiss these losses in the context of a global pandemic but these are the very things that often bring meaning and purpose to the lives of our young people and without meaning and purpose students lose motivation and often experience feeling of hopelessness. 

As a school community we are incredibly well placed to support our young people with a sense of belonging.  Just being part of a collective community with shared goals and values is important for our wellbeing.  On a more intimate level it’s about creating that sense of shared identity and belonging within tutor groups. Professor Louis Cozolino, author of The Social Neuroscience of Education, suggests that tribal classrooms can achieve amazing things even in very challenging circumstances.   One wonderful idea that was shared by Adrian Buthane, a primary school teacher and author of Wellbeing in the Primary Classroom, is the idea of creating a tribal classroom or tutor group.  This essentially involves each member of the group  identifying their key values (honesty, teamwork) and together using these values to create a shared identity.  By creating a sense that everyone matters and that you all belong together you create feelings of safety and ultimately when we feel safe our ability to learn is so much greater. 

 

Number 5 Look after ourselves  

It’s a really tough time at the moment, the demands are so much higher and our resources are so much lower.  To do this work and support our young people in the most helpful way we need to put our own oxygen mask on first.  And although this can feel counterintuitive recognising the benefits and giving ourselves permission to do things that look after our own wellbeing is what allows us to show up week after week and provide the care we want to provide. And this doesn’t have to be complicated, making time to speak to a good friend, spending time in nature, making sure we get enough sleep, nurturing our own sense of meaning and purpose …. All of these small things come with giant benefits and greatly increase our capacity to manage our own big emotions and remain resilience in the face of the many challenges that arise on a daily basis. 

Finally...

Resilience is not something you have or you don’t, it’s something that can be nurtured both in ourselves and in the young people in our care.  The current losses and uncertainty are real and painful but with the right support they are also opportunities for growth.  Let’s commit to supporting this growth and raising a more resilient generation of young people coming behind us.